What is our true form and from where and how did we came from?

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1PBy_g9DQUjlClxCIlw366itdRbY8Fvq8/view?usp=sharing

It can happen by the intervention of their sweet will. On the divine plane, the plane of perfection the sweet will of the divine couple is the law. All the static and the dynamic ways of the happenings or reality are ultimately controlled by the sweet will of the divine couple. That is the decisive reality, beyond any fixed laws, rules and regulations. That’s the most fundamental, highest, self-evident principle. One’s own svarūpa can also be further blossomed with some newer beauty and fragrance and taste if it’s so desired by the sweet will of the divine couple.
Devotee: Before downfall jiva is in tatashta-shakti and we speak about svarūpa we can develop. In this tatashta-shakti we have this form or is form predicted?

Bhakti Nandan Swami Maharaj: In the same time we have, in the same time we don’t have. The original nature and the taste of the spirit soul is that of a marginal plane. Because the very nature of the marginal potency is that of marginal type , so the nature of revelation, nature of the feelings and realizations of its own constitutional original taste and character is of marginal type, because the very nature of the spirit soul is of marginal type. We find the same marginal influence also in the field of its identification, of its real constitutional taste, constitutional nature, because it can remain a bit vague in a potential way, not yet realistically realized. But if it’s still there spirit soul may not be prominently very realized because of the marginal nature. It’s covered with some divine mystical conception about one’s own constitutional taste. It’s still there as the reality, but how it is felt, how will be realized when it’s inconceivable.

Devotee: I’m feeling this, but it’s not yet developed.
Bhakti Nandan Swami Maharaj: You’re feeling it, but not totally. Let me give you an example. When you begin to study, after you cross the primary, you’re still on the secondary level but you can see your destination, like you’re going to complete post graduation. You can smell your success from the distance, in a potential form. Although you don’t have it yet, it is still a reality going to be manifested in the future, as you remain determined.
Sometimes, whether it’s your business or something else, you plan things ahead of time, few months before. Within such and such time frame I’m going to fulfill this target. Before you reach your plan in reality, it is already reached. You fix the target and you are realistically going to reach that, but before that, it is also a kind of reality, in your planning. It is not just some imagination, but also a kind of subjective reality, before you realistically reach your target. It’s not easy to answer this, it cannot be answered in a shortcut way, without analysis.
What happens in some dormant, mysterious, mystical, eternal divine relation to Kṛṣṇa is that even a spirit soul from a marginal level can have some higher divine taste of Kṛṣṇa consciousness, not just taste from the nature of marginal plane (of a jiva soul), but of the original divine self. We’re talking about svarūpa. That svarūpa taste is not yet completely manifested by spirit soul on the marginal level, because its way of understanding is also of the marginal nature so it can only understand to a certain extent about its own nature. Just like we don’t understand very well about what is happening within our body. Partially we understand, but never fully.
It can also happen with the spirit soul on the marginal plane that they have full understanding about this real constitutional taste and nature in relation to Kṛṣṇa service. That remains mystically covered, like the target we fulfill in future. When the same jiva soul awakens in Kṛṣṇa consciousness, only then it can receive that target, otherwise not. Otherwise it has its own concept of its own constitutional taste and nature according to its ability on the marginal state, not yet on the higher Kṛṣṇa consciousness level. It are two different things. That’s what it can directly perceive, what is perceivable on the marginal state of consciousness for a spirit soul. But it cannot completely understand its final svarūpa taste in relation to Kṛṣṇa. It’s still not revealed, it’s not clear. It’s like like remaining a bright target for the future, in potential form.
Now, another subtle point is to be understood. In the mundane world on our limited mundane level of understanding things, when we fix a future target we plan out months ahead or years ahead to fulfill that target. That target remains as some form of potential truth, it is not yet realistically achieved. It is only some kind of subjective reality. But, in a spiritual world, in a mystical, spiritual, transcendental level of understanding, that future target of a svarūpa is an actual reality. Not just only a subjective reality, but an objective reality although it is not yet received or realized by that spirit jiva soul, because of its marginal nature and because it has not yet participated in the function of the antaranga world, antaranga yoga shakti, yogamaya shakti, internal potency of Kṛṣṇa. But, that’s still original constitutional nature in that svarūpa in the world of the internal potency in relation to Kṛṣṇa. It’s still there. It’s prefixed objective reality, although that marginal spirit soul has not yet directly connected with it.
Like dealing with past, present, future, three periods of time in this high spiritual plane is different from our ways of dealing. There, future reality can also be a great objective reality, already prefixed and well established, but the difference is that jiva soul has not attained that although it’s attainable by it. It is waiting for that spirit soul which is still situated on the marginal plane but has not yet participated in the world of the internal potency of Kṛṣṇa, participated in lila of Kṛṣṇa, ecstatic love service to Kṛṣṇa, but some ambrosial reality which is prefixed by nature to some extent according to the will of Kṛṣṇa already waiting there to be attained by this jiva still situated on the marginal plane. When it becomes ready it goes close to Kṛṣṇa, then that prefixed reality, taste of svarūpa is attained by that jiva soul. Not before. But still, that is remaining over there. It is a self-evident reality over here in the future time for that jiva, but that reality exists present in present time for the absolute mind.
When we are talking about jiva svarūpa in a holistic sense, that concept of svarūpa cannot remain confined by the only marginal nature/state of the jiva. Because marginal state means it has not yet actively become Kṛṣṇa devotee, it has not actively participated in the ecstatic love service to Kṛṣṇa. When it is actively participating it is already included in this svarūpa level, svarūpa world of potency –antaranga shakti, not remaining on the marginal level, although by nature jiva is on the marginal level, it is being shifted to the higher level, that is world of internal potency.
So, a true svarūpa nature of a spirit soul cannot be completely understood or realized from its own marginal state of existence. That can only be revealed when the same jiva soul is closely connected to that level of the internal world, internal potency of Kṛṣṇa. Because the real original taste of svarūpa actually exist in relation to Kṛṣṇa. Total realization of svarūpa can never fully manifest on the marginal level. Svarūpa level means nityalīlā level, eternal ecstatic love service.
Devotee: It is nicely explained but I have one more question. To realize svarūpa do I have to go from the marginal potency to nitya-lila or I can just go directly to spiritual world?
Bhakti Nandan Swami Maharaj: It depends on the free choice of the spirit soul on the marginal plane. If it happens to make a choice in connection with maha maya – illusory energy of Kṛṣṇa, if it feels attracted to participate in activities of maha maya, then it first comes to the material world and then after having enough experience of material existence, then it goes back to God, back home. Then it is possible. Life of this worldly existence is taken like a comparative study of life, placed for gathering comparative experience and understanding of how super-excellent Lord Kṛṣṇa is and his abode and how everything is super-excellent compared to this low level of experience. In the incident of a very fortunate choice a jiva soul can directly take a journey towards the abode of Kṛṣṇa. It can also happen. Both possibilities are there. It’s not like an compulsory law that jiva soul has to come down from the mundane plane of existence and then go back to Kṛṣṇaloka. It’s not that hard and fast rule in case of making a fortunate choice, selection. It can directly take a journey. It’s a very blessed choice.
But what actually is that special fortune in the life of that spirit soul from the marginal plane which makes him or her choose in a very positive way towards Kṛṣṇa is covered with mystery. However, something is very clear – in relation to that reality that some causeless grace is working, mercy from the divine plane working for that spirit soul to influence him or her to make that fortunate choice. And the nature of that grace is causeless. Even without depending on the fact whether or not jiva soul deserves it or desires it. But might be that some desire should be there, some intrinsic desire in that spirit soul to have that kind of causeless grace, to attract it. It’s covered with divine mystery.
Transcribed by Indulekha devi dasi (from a lecture given in Prague, August 2018)